for a friend that is so dear to me...

feb. 21, 2007

i learned how to love without expecting in return. for a while, it felt good, but soon enough i had to stop. it's just that i realized the more i love the person. the more i loose myself. and the saddest part of it all... when i already knew that i can no longer feel whole, it's because, a part of me went astray... a sad experience that really happened to me, how i wish that he is mr. right for me. for the fact that he knows me, he understands me, and i even felt on times that we we're together, that he also loves me...i become careless, stupid, abnormal... for letting myself fall for him... i became blind, on times that i thought he is mine! he's always telling me, "i'm always here for you..." and that made me feel secure. but, i just found myself alone. yes! he's here with me, as a friend... i'm not demanding too much from him, in fact i'm really blessed to have him with me, but my feeling really kills me... i felt that i've been left hangin, in the air for the reality, that... he is just my friend... that he never loved me... that he just cared... sometimes i really want to give up... all... everything... even our friendship, so that i cannot feel the pain. but, deep inside me i know i can't do it... it's because he's the reason why i keep on smiling, and i know that i will never get tired on him.


i really just can't believe that we'd met, i even don't know him before, i didn't expected that i can get along with you... but i'm really thankful he's here with me.. taught me so many things... taught me how to love... taught me how to feel ...pain... how to be strong... how to stay with our friendship... but im hoping,,, that he can also teach me on how to stop this feeling i have for him...