for a friend that is so dear to me...

feb. 21, 2007

i learned how to love without expecting in return. for a while, it felt good, but soon enough i had to stop. it's just that i realized the more i love the person. the more i loose myself. and the saddest part of it all... when i already knew that i can no longer feel whole, it's because, a part of me went astray... a sad experience that really happened to me, how i wish that he is mr. right for me. for the fact that he knows me, he understands me, and i even felt on times that we we're together, that he also loves me...i become careless, stupid, abnormal... for letting myself fall for him... i became blind, on times that i thought he is mine! he's always telling me, "i'm always here for you..." and that made me feel secure. but, i just found myself alone. yes! he's here with me, as a friend... i'm not demanding too much from him, in fact i'm really blessed to have him with me, but my feeling really kills me... i felt that i've been left hangin, in the air for the reality, that... he is just my friend... that he never loved me... that he just cared... sometimes i really want to give up... all... everything... even our friendship, so that i cannot feel the pain. but, deep inside me i know i can't do it... it's because he's the reason why i keep on smiling, and i know that i will never get tired on him.


i really just can't believe that we'd met, i even don't know him before, i didn't expected that i can get along with you... but i'm really thankful he's here with me.. taught me so many things... taught me how to love... taught me how to feel ...pain... how to be strong... how to stay with our friendship... but im hoping,,, that he can also teach me on how to stop this feeling i have for him...

BAKIT NGAYON PA?!

nov.29, 2006

03:50 pm

alam kong ang puso nati'y iisa

alam kong ang puso'y nakalaan para sa isa

ngunit nagkaroon akoh ng pangamba

nalito na sa naramdaman simula ng dumating ka.

naging parte ka ng aking pagkatao

naging hingahan ka ng mga problema ko

napupunan mo ang pagkukulang ng mahal ko

unti- unting nalimutan ang mahal kong nasa malayo.

isang gabing nag-iisa at nakatulala

biglang sumagi sa isipp ang aking nagawa

aking napagtanto, ako'y nahulog na

nahulog sa bitag ng pag- ibig nang di sinasadya.

bakit ngayon pa kung kailan huli na?

bakit ngayon pang ang puso ko'y may nagmamayari na?

ngayon tuloy ako'y labis na nababahala

ang puso kong ito'y nahahati sa dalawa....

:(

nice meeting you again...

juzt wrote this one for my friend named "edge"

you're such a weird person i'd encountered

you're such a weird person i'd talked with

you're such a weird person full of mysteries

but inspite that, you're such a great person that i had.

never in my life that i thought

in my own movie you'll be a part

never in my lfe that i thought

that the two of us will be attached.

i'm very thankful to have someone like you

i'm very thankful that you've been a part of me

and for those weird talks that we had

i will do, really miss, all of that for sure

farewell is not the end,

farewell is what i hate...

well again, let me just say...

nice meeting you again and again!

○○♥♥♥○○

im here again....all alone...dont know what im gonna do...

still seeking for questions that i guess no answer to be found...

or maybe,,,

there are no really questions...im just bugging myself for me to think..

its hard, coz' it's like that i'm playing with no rules at all...

besides its my games....no paths...no directions...aw!

you'll just see me sitting thinking that i dont care at all...that im just thinking of myself!!

how rude that is?!

what reaction do you want me to show?!?

arrrrrrggggghhhh!

I dont want to argue more....i want to fix things by myself...without noises in my ears...

just wanted to have such privacy of myself...to have my life be normal!!

i just wanted to feel that im alive...

i wanted to go away!! to go to far places....

far from here!!!in this damn room of emptiness...in this room full of people who just wanted me to be someone i cant..away from this people who dont believe on what i can do...

hope someday they'll realize it.......hope someday i can go on to my life and find what im searching for!!!